Do we really have to accept it?

by Michelle
(UK)

Do we really have to accept it? I remember when I was diagnosed, how could I forget? I was told by an old consultant, who had no "bedside manner" at all.

After looking through my notes and getting me to touch the end of my nose (why? Did he think I'd drank a whole bottle of wine before the appointment), and check my reflexes, he sat behind his desk and said the following words to me that changed my life!
"Well, it could be one of many things, it could be M.E but what's M.E anyway or it could be Fibromyalgia, hmmm"
I was sitting there thinking "unbelievable"!
"So what do I tell my husband when he asks me your verdict"
"Fibromyalgia, let's stick with fibromyalgia" he said, so matter of factly.
I'd never heard of it so I asked him to write it down for me ( I was so forgetful, yes, even all those years ago)

Hubs & I left the hospital and I called my dad on what would now be an old fashioned mobile phone, a Nokia 3310, if my memory serves me right. I told dad what the consultant said and he said he'd heard of it but knew nothing about it. Hubs and I got back home and while he made a cup of tea I put the computer on to google this unknown word "fibromyalgia"!

After reading several websites (I didn't believe the first one), I sat there and cried and cried, I couldn't accept what I was reading, especially the word "chronic" I'd not known before what it meant. For life, it meant I'd suffer like this for life. Over the following weeks I did research after research, I joined forums but quickly discovered that they weren't for me at that time. Everyone was so "oh poor me". Those on this forum told me I had to accept it but I didn't want to!
What does "accepting it" mean to you?
For me it meant giving up, accepting that I had to put up with it and not fight it. I suppose it was a turning point for me.
My research led me to trying food supplements (magnesium & co-enzyme Q10) doing a bit of light exercise and eating healthy fresh food (nothing processed) I watched tv programs and movies that made me laugh, I was working two jobs but I resigned from one to do more of the other which I adored as it was so manic and exciting, (the first and only female manager at the best racing circuit in the UK). I often worked on adrenalin alone!

That was 10 years ago. My life has dramatically changed this year. I thought it wise to leave my job as I felt like I wasn't giving it my best anymore as my symptoms had become worse. I knew I needed something to keep me occupied but couldn't think of anything but one night I was home alone and decided to write a blog. I've no idea where that thought come from, divine intervention maybe?
So, there I was, laid on my sofa iPhone in hand and wrote my first blog. It was short, could've been better but I'd made a start. Everyone I read it to enjoyed it, and there my love of writing began and it's gone from strength to strength!

You never know where life's gonna take you but I do know one thing, that even though my pain and fatigue is worse now than it’s ever been I won't give up. Hell no!

So, do we really have to accept it?
Not me!